Learning Lessons through Trials

I've been a little bummed out the last few days. Last Thursday I got into a car accident. It was my fault. We just found out yesterday that the car is a write-off. What a bummer.

The accident didn't even seem that big, at the time. I was on my way home from working hard on my online course. It was a road I drive every single day. I was going below the speed limit! I wasn't on my phone. Rusty wasn't in the car, so I wasn't looking at him. I was just driving. I looked to the side for a split second, looking at a man and his adorable son walking on the sidewalk. I looked back and with the sun shining, didn't really see the brake lights on the pickup in front of me until it was too late. I slammed on my brakes and at the last second I really thought the car would stop in time...but it didn't. My car rear-ended the pickup truck.

I wasn't even going fast enough for either of us to be hurt. The truck didn't really have much damage, if any. I didn't see any. The bumper maybe had a scratch? My car, howeer? That's a different story. Because the car was so much lower than the truck, the truck's bumper shoved my hood back, radiator and all.

I called hubby and our bodyshop buddy. Body Shop Buddy said that as long as there wasn't green stuff flowing out and the temp stayed the same I should be able to get the car to his shop. Off I went. After driving for about ten minutes, the car started smoking at stoplights, so I pulled over. I was on a random street...alone. I called hubby, who called a tow truck, and I waited. Of course I couldn't have the car on, so it got cold. I looked up to see the sweetest lady. She was wondering if I was okay, and could she perhaps bring me a cup of tea? That tea warmed not only my body, but also my heart.

So, now here we are, days later, and we have learned that the car is a write off. Ugh. I feel upset. I'm mad at myself that it even happened in the first place. I'm thankful, though, that it wasn't worse. I'm glad I wasn't hurt. I'm glad Rusty wasn't with me. I'm glad that we have insurance. I'm glad that I have a husband who is understanding. I'm thankful-as a friend put it-that my car sacrificed itself to keep me safe! I'm just bummed.

I'm not sure why, but for some reason this is affecting me strangely. I feel so sad. Not about the car, but probably more that I was the one that caused this stress. My hubby has stress. He has to find a new car. We are stressed as we wait to hear what the insurance company will pay us. We are stressed as we figure out paperwork. We are stressed as we wait to see how this will affect our overall insurance. I caused all of that stress, with one simple, split-second glance to the side.

In the end, this really isn't a big deal. There are worse things that can happen in life, and we actually heard some news the other day that IS indeed worse. I don't really understand life sometimes, but I do know one thing. I understand that God is in control. I am so thankful that I serve a God that rules over all, and knows exactly why things happen even when I do not. In the middle of trials-whether big or small-it is that which I hold on to. I love my Lord. I am thankful for Him. I am thankful for His sacrifices for me. I am thankful for his son. I am thankful that he is steadfast, pure, holy, righteous. I am thankful that I can trust him in all things. I am thankful that he loves me, even though I definitely don't deserve it.

Psalm 38:9 says, "You know what I long for, Lord; You hear my every sigh." What an amazing thing to think. He does hear everything. Not just the prayers that we cry out to him, but our every sigh, our every breath. There is never a moment that he loses track of us and what is happening in our lives. He is there, always.

It's a small thing, really. Crashing my car was not the end of the world. It's not even that big of a thing. It's an inconvenience, sure, but in the grand scheme of things, we are so blessed. We have two cars. We have a warm house to come home to. We have a beautiful, amazing, funny son that lights up our every day. We have families that love us and support us. We have friends that are closer to us than brothers, and will come and be with us and help us at the drop of a hat. I know all these things. I tell them to myself in my head, and my heart believes it too. I just need to get over my melancholy self. I need to lose the guilt and move on. I guess maybe this all happened just to teach me that very lesson!

So, today, I will go and say goodbye! My car has been good to me. After Rusty's nap today my husband and I will drive to the body shop and clean it out. We will get the many things that have accumulated in the trunk and in the car and say goodbye. Poor thing, she's going to the junk heap. I hope that they can at least salvage some of her parts! Time to move on!

Ch-ch-CHANGES

Rusty is changing, changing, changing! He is becoming such a little boy these days. I love seeing the changes in him, and am especially thankful for all of the videos and pictures we have taken of him in the last year or so. It's really neat to look back on those videos and see how much he has changed. It's so easy to get all caught up in the moment or stage that we are in, and forget what he was like even just a few weeks ago!

He now loves to watch videos of himself and watching them with him has been a lot of fun for us. It really reminds me that each moment is precious and special, and to definitely enjoy the time that we are in and not constantly be looking for the next step!

Rusty's vocabulary is expanding these days. He now can say several different words, as well as animal sounds. He can communicate really well with us, but there are still those moments of frustration when Mom and Dad aren't understanding what he is expressing very well.

Right now he says "Mama," "Dada," "Nana," "Buppa,"-his word for Papa-and yesterday added "Ball" which sounds more like "Bbaaa." He also says "nigh nigh" for night, night. His animal noises are "Baaaa" for the sheep, "BRroooO" for an elephant, "Wof Wof" for a dog, "NEEayyy" for a horse, "Mmmooaa" for a cow, and "ggrrr" for a tiger. The tiger growl is always accompanied with the shaking of his head!

Our friend Tara watches him for us often, and she has taught him to "smell the flower." It is so adorable! He wrinkles up his nose and sniffs and shakes his head back and forth. What a joy! It's such an adorable face!

The latest additions are No and Yes. They are a bit different though. No is more like "Naaahhhh" although last night he said "No!" VERY clearly! He also now says yes in a way when we ask him something. It is SO cute! He says "Uh HUH!" I am trying to capture it on video. Today I said, "Rusty, do you want to go to the park?" and he said, "Uh HUH!" and went to get his shoes.

This week I have been without work, and it hasn't been a hardship! I love spending so much time with my little man! He's so funny and so sweet. Hugs and kisses abound. He laughs and makes ME laugh all day long. He has all of his little routines that must be followed. I love this little guy!

True Love

Hmm...I think I'm starting to rethink arranged marriages! Rusty's little friend, let's call her Sunshine, is such a little doll. She is sweet, cute, and has such a feisty little personality. I love her! Rusty loves her! Every time they play together her mom and I comment on how great they do together. I have high hopes for these two!

OF COURSE Rusty can marry whoever he wants, however, look at these two, just LOOK at them...aren't they adorable???

Happy Thanksgiving

I love living in Canada and I don't want to move, but every year this weekend comes around and I really, really miss home. Thanksgiving American-style just can't be beat. Even many of my friends up here have said that it simply seems to be a different sort of holiday for Americans, and I agree.

It's a big holiday. It's a weekend of fun, family, eating, spending time together shopping or whatever else comes along the way. It's a big core family all in one house laughing, playing games, watching football. It's the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade-which I STILL watch! It's football in the crisp autumn air in the back yard. It's mac and cheese and turkey and gravy and sweet potatoes and Aunt Charita's cheesecake. It's Grandpa and all of my uncles falling asleep in the reclining chairs after a delicious dinner. Thanksgiving in the States is sometimes waking up early the next day and jumping in the car with your favorite women to crash the stores at inhumane hours in hopes of the best deal for that Christmas present you are looking for! Thanksgiving is the anticipation of the work and school week ending on that Wednesday afternoon and looking forward to spending the entire weekend with your family.

I'm so thankful for many wonderful things in my life. I like to do a Thanksgiving wish list, and although it could always go on forever, I'll limit it to ten things!

1. I'm so thankful for my God. My faith in Him is what keeps me going! I am so grateful that I am not on my own and that He is always with me, even in difficult times.
2. I could never express how thankful I am for my husband. The way God brought us together is a true miracle...a farm girl from South Dakota and a city boy from BC? How else could that happen except for God having a hand in it? Kevin is an amazing man. I am so thankful for our relationship. I am thankful that we laugh together, cry together, share so many things. We encourage one another, we are each other's helpmates. I never feel like I am in things alone, because he is always there right beside me, whether it is doing the dishes, running errands, going on a fun vacation, or figuring out exactly how we are supposed to respond to this new twist of parenthood!
3. I am exceedingly thankful for my son. Wow. I know that it is cliche and that everyone says it, but being a parent truly does change your entire life. To have such joy and love for this little man in your life is something that surprises me daily. I am amazed at his growth-emotionally, physically, verbally, just in every way! He daily learns new things. He is so full of joy. I love that moment when I get home from work or yoga or whatever and walk up to the window and tap on it and the excitement that he has at seeing me is so great that he can't contain it. He runs around the room in excitement and joy and bangs on the window and kisses it. His laugh lights up an entire room. His smile ranges from shy to jubilant. Kevin and I were alone the other day for awhile-I can't remember why-and Kevin commented on how he always laughs so much more when Rusty is around. It's true! He makes us laugh all of the time. His hugs and his kisses! Oh, if you get to experience them you are so blessed! He pats your arm with his little hand and gives you a big kiss on the cheek or mouth and you feel like the most loved person in the world! I am definitely thankful for my sweet boy!
4. I am thankful for my family. They are and always have been my foundation. They check in with me, they send me letters, pictures, videos. They come to visit. They listen from afar. We support each other, even though we aren't always together. They make me laugh. A lot. They have silly traditions that make life fun. They love God and live for Him. My extended family is included in this! I was one of those people that was blessed enough to grow up feeling like I knew my aunts and uncles and cousins as well as my own mom, dad, and siblings. I am still as that close to them!
   
5. I am thankful for my mother and father-in-law! I love them and we are so thankful for the relationship that they have with Rusty. His eyes simply light up any time he sees them and he spends half of the day-every day-walking around the house calling for his "Nana" and "Buppa." They are great grandparents, they dote on him just enough, but not enough to totally spoil him. They hug him and love on him. Nana is the one that taught him that a sheep says "Baa baa" and Buppa is determined to teach Rusty his colors by using various seeds. He is so blessed to have them in his life, and we are blessed as well. They are always there for us, they pray for us, they provide wisdom when we need it and give us the opportunity to learn on our own when we want that.
   
6. I am incredibly thankful for TECHNOLOGY! Techonology has truly changed my life. Facebook allows me to peek into the lives of my friends and family that are far away on a daily basis. Skype lets my family SEE Rusty live and in action for free! My blog gives me the opportunity to express myself and write. Technology has even recently created a new job opportunity for me that allows me to be home with my sweet boy and hubby more! Technology is amazing and I am so thankful for all of the opportunities it provides in our world today!
7. I am really thankful for the many good friends that I have. God has put a lot of wonderful people in my life that round it out and fill it up. I can't list them all, because I'll forget some, but you guys know who you are! You are there for a good cup of coffee, you're there for going to movies, pouring out my heart, sharing your heart with me, watching plays and going on adventures! You are wonderful!
8. I am thankful for coffee! Yes, I am one of "those" people. I love coffee. I love to start my day with a nice hot cup of joe with my favorite creamer in it. I also love a nice, hot latte from Starbucks, or a half coffee/half hot chocolate from Tim Horton's. Another delicious drink is a peppermint mocha...I just love coffee!
   
9. I am thankful for the area that I live in. Talk about natural beauty and living in the middle of God's wonder! BC is that place! We see beauty surrounding us on a daily basis. The view from the backyard we live in is breathtaking. The mountains and the ocean are both within a short drive. It's amazing to live in such a place!
10. I'm thankful for my new Kitchen Aid mixer! I love how easy it makes life. I love baking up simple things on a whim because the mixer takes all of the work out of it. I'm daily finding new uses for my mixer.
    

Thanksgiving 2008-Little Rusty was three months old!

IN LOVE

I am so, crazy over the top in love. My two boys, man, I love them. I can't get over how much my love for them grows every day.

Kevin, he is such a great man. He is a strong man of God. He is a helpful, considerate, kind, romantic and loving husband. He is a fantastic, involved, incredible father. He knows Rusty's routine as well as I do. He makes him giggle on a daily basis. They have their little games that they play. This weekend I'm going away for a girls' weekend and I am not one little bit worried about it because I know that Rusty is in Kev's hands, which are as good if not better than mine! And ultimately, they are both in God's hands, which are the best of all! Kevin is amazing. He's so helpful in the house. I can't remember the last time I washed a load of towels. I rarely do the dishes. I never pack Rusty's lunch, or Kevin's for that matter. I have seen the man whip out the vacuum and vacuum up all of the rooms just because on many occasions. He is thoughtful...I got flowers the other weekend just because. He is a true gift and blessing in my life.

Rusty, man that little man rocks! He is changing daily and he is a blast! He's so incredibly fun. He is always giggling, he plays so well with others and on his own-from what I have seen anyway! (Tara, maybe you would say differently??) He is loving, so loving! He gives these huge, open mouthed kisses, he gives big, patty pat hugs, and he blows bye bye kisses to just about everyone he meets. When he wraps his little arms around my neck and squeezes my heart melts and I just about can't handle the love flowing out of it! He has so many funny little things he does. He has started "tickling us" and he makes the cutest little growling noise when he does it. He is just such a blessing! I love the changes that constantly come and how much fun he is now!

I love my boys!

And there it was, floating in the tub...

Tonight was a normal night. Hanging out with Rusty, feeding him dinner, and then, after some major play time, I was ready to put him to bed. We have a routine. We give him a bath, put on his pjs, brush his teeth, and then put him down. Tonight I was solo, since Kevin had a church meeting, but it wasn't a big deal. Until bath time, that is.

There Rusty was, splashing away. He LOVES his baths, and I had already soaped him up and washed him down, so he was happily playing with all of his bath toys. I was picking up the towel off of the floor and heard him grunt, and thought, "Oh no." I knew that grunt, it was NOT a grunt I wanted to hear while he was in the bathtub!

I looked up and there it was, floating in the tub...a little piece of poop. Yep, that's right, my son had POOED in the BATHTUB! He was grinning away, and I quickly snatched him up before he could reach for it...doesn't that seem like something a baby would do? And especially my boy, who doesn't normally put things in his mouth...I could just see him reaching for it and, oh, I can't even say it! I had him stand on a towel while I figured out what to do. I scooped it up with a cup and flushed it down the toilet, then emptied the tub and rinsed the boy off.

I took him and got him dressed in his pjs, put him to bed, and then went and scooped up all of the toys, his bathmat, everything in the tub and threw them in a super hot, sudsy washer load. YUCK! I have the bathtub marinating in the eucalyptus bath cleaning scrub that I love right now.

My mom likes to tell a story of how I pooed in the tub when I was a baby...I guess this is only payback!

The Teeth are Gone!

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. As you can see from the photos above-taken just a few minutes ago-I'm not even really swollen. I'm talking about the tooth extraction.

I can't believe I put it off for three years! Honestly, the most difficult part has been not eating anything with any sort of crunch to it. I'm a crunchy kind of girl. The mashed potatoes are good, they just don't crunch. Chicken broth is tasty, it just doesn't have much to it! I can't really complain because at least I have food, but I guess I'm not really a liquid and mushy diet kind of girl!

The entire process was less than 20 minutes. I looked at the clock around 8 a.m., feeling a wee bit groggy, and then woke up about 30 minutes later, with gauze sticking out of my mouth. I went home and followed the instructions to keep an ice pack on my head all day. For 24 hours and then some I sat with the ice packs in the sock tube tied around my head, had a tylenol every 6 hours-not the T3s, luckily regular tylenol did the trick!-and rested. Kevin stayed home to take care of me, and while I sat on the couch drinking smoothies and catching up on all the shows I have DVRed lately he went around the house in a flurry, doing two loads of dishes, washing all of the towels, sweeping the kitchen, and cleaning up the kitchen. What a man! In between this he refilled my smoothie cup, made me chicken broth, and made sure I got rest.

Overall, the experience has not been too bad. I'm feeling pretty good today! I even had time and energy to do some Christmas shopping this morning and I have definitely enjoyed spending time with my little man...it felt like I had barely seen him all week. What a sweethart I have, I'm such a lucky mom!

Thanks to everyone that offered up words of support. I feel like such a chicken that I was so afraid of it, but who knows where these fears come from! I'm just glad it is over, the teeth are gone, and I'm on my way to eating regular food again!